Deep Thoughts, Part One

I have so many deep thoughts rumbling around in my brain right now. It feels weighted down and very tangled. One trail leads to another which leads to another. Eventually, I end up going in circles. And the fact that I'm sleep deprived doesn't help. As I've often said to Corey this past week, I don't think I'm licensed for this.

What I really need to do is journal. It's always been the way I clean out my mind. There's something tremendously cathartic about getting all those thoughts out of my head and down on paper where they can be studied and analyzed and (if nothing else) captured and told to be still. But lately, I find it difficult to journal because the blog guilt is ever present. "Shouldn't you be writing something for the blog? Have you checked Twitter lately? Did you leave a comment on all the blogs you read today?"

Annoying. And wrong.

I've got some ideas about how to balance this addictive and fulfilling hobby with the kind of writing I used to do on a regular basis. But so far, I haven't reached any conclusions. Circles, you know. But still. It's good to be thinking about it. I feel like, the past few months, I haven't had a blog. The blog has had me.

That has got to change.

11 comments:

  1. Thank you for your thoughts. I first came across your blog through my friend Flibbertigibberish about a year ago. At that time you were taking a break from blogging to spend some solid time with God. I was new to the blogworld at the time and was impressed and challenged by your insights.

    I feel a similar tug between my journal and blog. One suffers or the other, it seems. My journal feels almost like a prayer so I feel conflicted neglecting it.

    It does seem to be that you do a good job making your blog journal-like as you share what you are learning and doing. I am curious to see where the circles lead you.

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  2. I don't get the deal about Twitter. But I always do love your thoughts and your posts. But I don't see how you manage it with your kids.

    Funny -- what just came to mind was Winnie the Pooh sitting there saying "Think, think, think" with his finger on his forehead.

    Maybe you need some hunny!

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  3. We should put our heads together on this one. I've been trying to re-frame the whole thing too. It's tricky. Since I took some time off, I spent a lot of that time thinking about how I'm going to do it differently. Less addictively and with my priorities in the right order.

    I think part of it is that the guilt has GOT to go. It feels weird to skip reading blogs here and there and to not comment, but it's just got to be that way or the whole day is sucked away with trying to not miss a thing.

    I could go on and on, but I'll stop now :)

    Thank you for your honesty!

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  4. I am totally tracking with you right now. Just yesterday a friend and my husband suggested taking a vacation from reading and writing on my blog. It doesn't sound like a bad idea, but I, too, feel tied to it. Like if I quit I'll lose all my bloggy friends.

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  5. I love to journal. Have for years. Make Jesus numero uno and then the blogging is just fun!

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  6. I only go on Twitter when I feel like it - but blogging. Yeah. I realized that something was wrong when I started feeling like blogging was an obligation. SO I stepped back and realized that I needed to think about what I enjoyed about it, and it's been a period of adjustment for me. I don't know what the long term prognosis is, though!

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  7. I have pretty much quit twittering because it just doesn't fulfill me enough ;) I only check in once a week or so.

    You know during Ike I took a break from the blog, and it really renewed me. Made me want to do it more. Could you just take another break?

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  8. I would love to hear more of your thoughts (circling or not).

    I struggle with this and go from loving the blog to wanting to ditch the blog. It is very hard for me to keep it in perspective for some reason.

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  9. I just came across your blog and just wanted to comment and tell you I'm loving it! I hope you were able to find time to journal. I can relate with what you said on so many levels!! God Bless you!!
    love,
    another Kelly :)

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  10. Kelly, I'm with you. I don't like feeling like my blog keeps me on a short leash. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

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  11. I journal every morning as part of my quiet time. Helps me focus. I journal things I would never blog, and vice versa too I suppose. I don't blog everyday. I don't twitter. I rarely comment anymore, but I'm still reading.
    Blogs aren't meant to control us. Who cares if we post? (I mean, I care if you post, but if you go a few days, that's okay) Don't stress it, is what I'm trying to say.

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