I Need This

There are weeks when church feels more like a chore than a celebration.

Four kids. Early morning. Spilled milk. The wrong cereal. Tangled hair. Bickering and whining.

It’s a struggle to make it out the door with clothes and shoes, much less a heart dressed for worship.

There are weeks I wonder why I bother.
Can’t I worship at home?
Does God really need me to travel to a building?
Why all this work?

But then I get there and even if I only have five minutes between kids needing to know how to spell blueberry and “Mom, can I have a piece of gum?” I remember.

I need this.

I need this desperately.

I’m so dry and calloused, I can’t even tell that I’m numb.

I need this time of awakening.

The crust that seals my eyes is gently wiped away and again I see.

I see God.
     Faithful.
     True.
     Relentless.
     Gracious.
I hear God.
     Whisper.
     Proclaim.
     Sing.
     Remind.
I feel God.
     Renew.
     Restore.
     Quicken.
     Confirm.

He is.

Once again, I feel Him stir in my soul. I am alive with wonder and gratitude.

Oh, how I need this.