Devastated by the Loss of a Sweet Stranger

When I worked at the TV station, it was somewhat common to answer the newsroom phone and hear this: "Could you tell Susan that she really needs to get her haircut? Oh, and that color she's wearing today looks awful on her. Maybe she needs to get some new clothes. Nordstroms is having a great sale this week."

The standard answer was, "Great idea! I'll pass it on. Thanks for calling!"

But, of course, we never passed it on. Not unless the caller was a. creepy (because then we would get the police involved) or b. so rude they were funny (like the woman who would call demanding our anchors brushed their teeth more; that sort of thing).

Why did complete strangers call the TV station to say such personal -- and often obnoxious -- things? Because they felt like they knew our anchors. They viewed them as friends. After all, they ate dinner with Marty and Susan every night, and they got ready for bed while Joe told them about the weather forecast for the next day. (Sunny and 70s from now until eternity. It was San Diego.) It wasn't a real relationship. But it felt like one.

So I understand the whole celebrity thing. I know we often feel like we know people that, in fact, we don't.

But this whole blogging thing. It takes the faux relationship one step deeper, doesn't it?

I have never met Steven Curtis Chapman or his wife, Mary Beth. I've never talked to his teenagers or played with his daughters.

But because I admire their hearts so much, I have been reading their blogs for the past 12 months or so. I've watched as they've gone on vacation to Hawaii and Florida. I saw their family Christmas card picture just a few hours after it was taken. I laughed at their young daughters as they would have sleepovers and go to Pump it Up for birthday parties and compete in gymnastics meets. I know Maria and Stevey Joy are nearly inseparable, that they have matching princess pajamas. I heard the story about the time teenagers Will Franklin and Caleb submitted to "makeovers" from their little sisters. I know Emily Chapman got engaged just a few days ago.

And, of course, Steven's music is the backdrop of my life. His songs have been my comfort, my peace, my encouragement, my celebration. Going to a SCC concert is always one of the highlights of my year. Because we share the same Spirit, my heart resonates with the art created by his pen and guitar.

I guess that last line partially explains how I can be so broken over the loss of a little life that I didn't know this side of heaven. To be perfectly honest, I'm devastated. I'm completely empty today, devoid of laughter and joy. (And that's saying something for a sanguine like me.) I keep thinking, "This can't be real. This must be a horrible dream." (And if I'm thinking that, how much more must the Chapmans be wishing to wake up from this nightmare?)

Last night, as I was crying in my Bible (Psalms, of course), I thought of this song by Andrew Peterson. It's a great description of my prayer for the Chapmans right now.

Give us faith to be strong
Father, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong

Lord, we are raw. Your body pleads for Your touch on this precious family. Only You, Jesus. Only You.

---

I also want to pass along these practical suggestions I got in an e-mail from Jim Houser, Steven's manager. (His blog is another staple of mine.)

We are all humbled by the incredible outpouring of love and support at this difficult time. I have watched you, the Chapman friends, overwhelm website servers and jam phone lines with your gracious words and heartfelt prayers. The Chapman family is so grateful. Obviously, we cherish your prayers for all in the Chapman family, and we welcome you passing this along to others to pray and encouraging them to sign up for Steven's e-mail list to receive continuing updates.

• If you'd like to express your condolences and get a glimpse of this beautiful little girl through a short video clip, click here. [Note from Kelly: I can't bring myself to watch this clip all the way through yet. It tears me apart just to see her smiling face.]
• Mail to PO Box 150156 Nashville, TN 37215.
• In lieu of flowers, the Chapmans request any gifts be directed to Shaohannah's Hope, click here.
  

In closing, as many of you know, the song "Cinderella" was written by Steven to help him (and us all) grab a hold of the special moments with those we love we might otherwise rush by. It was inspired by a bath time that Steven tried to "hurry," Maria and her sister Stevey Joy were not exactly cooperating. : ) Let us all be reminded again today what Steven compels us to with the lyric of this special song.

Amen.