Is it still a reunion if you never unioned in the first place?

It feels really mean to tell a person who may have endured high school algebra with you that you don’t want to have any contact with people from your graduating class.

But I did it anyway.

Seems my high school’s 20th reunion is this summer. Up until now, I’ve managed to stay under the radar of the class committee. I’m not sure how, exactly, especially since our move back to the Twin Cities three years ago put me within 10 miles of my alma mater. I suspect one of my sibling’s Facebook profiles turned me in. (Dang you, Facebook and all your twisted levels of privacy controls.)

Either way, my classmates found me. And I’m annoyed. Part of my reason for staying hidden is that I only went to my graduating high school for two years. It was a big school -- more than 500 in my class -- and I didn’t make any long-lasting friends.

(I also went to college full-time my senior year thanks to Minnesota’s wonderful post-secondary option program. Which meant I showed up for high school graduation after not attending a single class at my high school all year. My fellow classmates, the few who knew me, said things like, “Dude! Where have you been?”


Meaningful relationships. Happy memories. Good times.)

And then there’s this: I graduated high school in 1990. (I know! My math skills are amazing!) We were barely out of the ‘80s, a decade that was known for glorifying greed and illicit pleasures. (The seniors in ’88 had a chant for pep rallies: “Drugs are fun. Sex is great. We’re the class of ’88!” No joke.)

(I apologize for my love of parentheses. If it makes you feel better, I really do talk this way in real life. Tangent city. But while I chase many rabbit trails, I usually end up back on the hunt eventually.)

(Where was I? Oh yes. The 80s.)


Apparently, my class will spend its reunion partying as if its 1989. The e-mail I got yesterday about the reunion said (and, a la Dave Barry, I am not making this up):
To incent folks to get there early, we will start with some hosted beer and wine. Current plan is about 20 bottles of wine and 2 kegs of hosted booze.
And:
Don’t pre-party elsewhere, post-party elsewhere. Arrive at the event on the earlier side so that the committee doesn’t consume all the hosted alcohol.
And:
As a way to set the mood, we will have pictures from past and present on a slide show at the reunion. Would love a picture of you over the past 20 years. Do you have a monumental picture where you met President Clinton, scaled Mount Everest, or perhaps spent time in a Turkish prison?
(OK. So that last one was funny. But still.)

At first, I thought I’d just ignore the email and move on with my life. But then I wondered if my classmates might publish a directory of contact information with my email address in it. I like my anonymity. I can contact anyone I wish through Facebook. So I politely asked the organizer to remove my name from the list.

“And never, never contact me again! High school was boring! I don’t want to relive it!”

(I didn’t really say that. The Minnesota Nice Angel sat on my shoulder and made me delete it and say, “Thanks for removing me. Have a nice day.” Darn Minnesota Nice Angel.)

But I’m still shuddering a little. Reunions like this just creep me out. (To put it in perspective, I loved my years in college, but I don't do homecoming there either. Too much living in the past for me.)

Am I alone in this?