37 Weeks and Pregnant-er than Ever

Warning: I've been writing this post for the better part of the last 24 hours, but apparently, my pregnant brain is incapable of focusing for more than ... what was I saying? I apologize in advance for the randomness you're about to read.

Last night, as is my custom, I sat on the floor next to Teyla's bed and surfed the Internet while I waited for my two-year-old to fall asleep and give me back my arm. (I am her security blanket. Lately, her favorite coping mechanism is to stroke my upper arm. "Arm, Mommy! Arm!" she cries if I dare to take my arm away to type a new web address. So I sit and click on links and type one-handed and we get along just fine.)

Lacking anything better to do, I Googled "signs labor is imminent" just for kicks.

I compiled the following list:
1. Spurt of energy / nesting
2. Loss of mucus plug / bloody show
3. Over-active intestinal system
4. Rupture of membranes
5. Cervix dilation and effacement

(Did I lose all my male readers around mucus plug? Most likely. Carry on.)

I'll spare you graphic details, but let me say this: I have four of the five symptoms down pat. (And the last? My water never breaks until the doctor reaches for the knitting needle. My Mom believes we have the Teflon bag gene. So I don't think that one will ever get crossed off my list.)

To be clear, I am aware -- very, very aware -- that these signs mean I might go into labor tonight, or I might wait two more weeks until my induction date. They should be labeled "Signs of Imminent Labor. Or Not."

That said, I did end up spending some quality time in a mumu Monday morning during a surprise trip to Labor and Delivery. The whole story is over at 5 Minutes for Parenting today. And I am a bundle of contractions lately. I have an OB appointment in the morning. I will be very interested to see if I'm still dilating progressively. Given that I was at 2 centimeters last Friday and 3 centimeters on Monday, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm at 4 tomorrow. Or 5. Or even a 3. Heck, this childbirth stuff isn't an exact science.

No wonder I'm so distractable.

Oh! And I took some pictures tonight to show y'all the watermelon I'm sporting these days, and I seriously couldn't keep a straight face. I mean, LOOK AT ME.



That's ridiculous. And crazy. And bizarre.

I keep reminding myself that I am enlarged in the waiting. For a single guy, Paul sure knew what he was talking about. Amen and amen.

Thursday afternoon update: Still at 3 centimeters, 50% effaced. No significant change from Monday morning. I'm a little surprised, but then again, I'm not. If I've learned anything this week, it's that the last weeks of pregnancy are unpredictable.