It's understandable; living in survival mode doesn't leave much room for creativity. But I've been off the bike for so long at this point, I'm not sure how to get back on.
And I want to get back on. I'm starting to feel better -- a credit to Zofran and maybe, just maybe, the fact that I'm now 13 weeks along. (The most severe pregnancy books say the second trimester doesn't begin until week 14, so I'm going with that for now, because I'm afraid to jinx my new-found zest for life.) I'm developing an appetite for words again. I want to write and think and create.
I'm just not sure how to start.
I keep thinking I need to write thoughtful posts, funny posts, full of witty observations and profound realizations. That would be the best way to start down this path again, right?
But my world leaves so little time for that. Just this morning, I was trying to read a few blogs when I turned around and saw this on the floor next to me.
That would be Teyla, covered in raspberry lip goo. And yes, she's spreading even more bright pink lip goo on the carpet. (My apologies for the lack of photo quality. My camera is dying. It refuses to focus anymore, which is more than a tad annoying.)
Sigh.
I know I have deep thoughts. I have a bunch of posts started, and I have even more ideas ramblings around in my brain.
But this is my life. My life is toddler messes and kisses, a dog who needs to go out, laundry that needs to be folded and older kids who need my attention and help.
So I've decided I'm just going to get back on this bike and start peddling. I'm sure some of my strokes will be wobbly and a few will be strong. I might even fall a few times.
But at least I'll be riding again. Because this I know -- I've missed it. (And I've missed you.)
It's good to have you back in the saddle (or the banana seat, in this case?) Deep thoughts or just daily life, I'm glad just to be along for the ride!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel! I used to be creative and funny. Now, I'm kind of blah, but I still need to write just to get it out of my system. I'm looking forward to seeing the "old me" again in a few months. I miss her!!
ReplyDeleteJust keep peddling. Most of us don't mind a bit scattered and disjointed, thats' how life with small people seems to run. Now would be a good time to kick the faux OCD to the curb!
ReplyDeleteHorray for feeling better!
Well at least you have a good excuse! I feel that way often; just life kicks me in the butt and I can't get around to blogging.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry--we enjoy you, wibbles and wobbles and messy toddlers and all ;)
Please don't write anything witty or thoughtful - it sets the bar too high for the rest of us. LOWER THE BAR, Kelly, LOWER THE BAR! ;p
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sue! And I love seeing your name in my reader!
ReplyDeleteWow. Teyla's antic reminds me of my brother-in-law's famous words:
When his son was a few weeks old: "If they weren't so cute you'd kill 'em!"
A few years later. . .: "Cute wears off about three."
She'll be baaack. She's here. Too bad comments do not contain intonation. Anyway, count me as another happy reader of Teyla antics. We're here.
ReplyDeleteYeah, just get on the bike and peddle because it makes YOU happy, and don't worry how it sounds or what someone else may think. What's in your heart to write? What do you desire to express? Just say that. You'll find that by just being real without trying too hard is the most relatable thing you can ever be...which is always touching, funny, and interesting.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back - I've been in the same blogging funk lately... Also, for your camera, try going to menu/settings and find something like "restore default settings" - that's worked for me when everything is suddenly blurry.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I feel you on every level. There was a period a couple months ago that I just about decided to give up the blog altogether. But the thought of it made me too sad because it meant saying goodbye to people I consider my real life friends. So, whether we have anything earth-shattering to share, that's as close to real life as it gets. Everyday conversation with a friend isn't always profound but at least we are together. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm like your camera. I can't focus lately either. I've tried to get into a rhythm with ANYTHING lately and it's not happening. Gary even asked if I was on dishes strike, I've let them pile up so.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm saying is, I totally get the blog funk. But I'd rather have a little of nothing exciting than nothing at all. You get me? Just keep pedaling and tell us how mundane your days are in between cleaning up after Hurricane Teyla, Tropical Storm Connor and... well, Natalie is perfect, right?
Be gentle with yourself, mama. That's hard work you're doing, you know. We'll all be here when you hit your stride again. ♥
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to find a new Kelly post.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends claims she always knows when I'm pregnant because I stop blogging. It's true.
It's like the growing a baby portion of the brain is roommates with the blogging bug. I have a hard time doing both, which is crazy because when in life is there more to say?
I can really, deeply relate to how you're feeling. I'm not growing any little people on the inside of my body, but growing the two already outside seem to be taking all of my time and creative energy these days. I love and miss blogging and I'll be back to it full swing and with generous amounts of passion when I'm *supposed* to be. So will you, Kelly. So will you. Love you, sweet Mama!
ReplyDeleteFunny stories, crazy little girls and rambling are perfect. Glad to have your posts coming again.
ReplyDelete