Ha! April Fool's!
Gotcha, didn't I?
Oh. Wait. That really is what's outside my window.
And my patio window.
And my car window.
Guess the joke is on me.
(Insert maniacal laughter here.)
But it's OK. Because it's April now. Even eight inches of sloppy, wet snow in Minnesota can't last with the sun at this angle. (Sorry; my inner meteorologist is hard to repress during times of extreme weather.) So I'm not going to dwell.
Instead, let's talk about April Fool's Day. In particular, let's talk about April Fool's Day 1994.
My husband and I had been married 11 months. We had just moved to Phoenix, and I was working as a food server at TGI Friday's. (I still have my flair in a box somewhere. I loved working at Friday's. Which may or may not surprise you.)
Because my schedule didn't necessitate normal hours (read: I didn't have to get up early -- ever), I was still sleeping at 9:30 in the morning when my telephone rang. Disoriented and groggy (facts I feel compelled to stress), I answered the phone.
Me: "Hello?"
Phone voice: "Hello. Is this Kelly @ Love Well?"
Me: "I think so."
Phone voice: "Hi Kelly. This is Larry. I show here that you recently bought a '94 Geo Prizm from such-and-such dealership, is that correct?"
Me, waking up: "Yes."
Phone voice: "I'm really sorry to tell you this, Kelly, but Geo is issuing a complete recall on your Prizm model. Apparently, the engine can explode without warning, which can be a bit of a problem, as you might imagine."
Me, definitely waking up: "Yes, I can see that."
Phone voice: "The recall is just now being released to the media, to get the word out. But we wanted to personally call as many Prizm owners as we can so you would know -- under no condition are you to drive the car until the repair has been made. We just don't want to take any chance."
Me: "Umm. OK."
Phone voice: "So this is what we'd like you to do. Because we want to expedite these repairs and get your car back to you in working order, we'd like you to pull your car out to the curb and leave it there for the day. We'll send a tow truck to get it and take it to the dealership where the repairs can be made. Can you do that?"
Me, starting to get skeptical: "So you want me to drive the dangerous car out of my garage and...."
Phone voice, interrupting: "Yes, we feel safe in having you drive it to the curb. But you should not drive it any further."
Me, mental wheels spinning: "OK. Well, I work at noon today. How am I going to get to work?"
Phone voice: "We'll reimburse you for a cab."
Me: "Um. OK. ... Actually, Larry, I just woke up. Can I call you back in a few minutes and finalize these arrangements?"
I hung up the phone, my hand slightly shaking. I wasn't sure what had just happened.
My brand new, pretty green Geo Prizm could explode? And this wasn't on the news yet?!?
Or -- could this just be an elaborate scam? Maybe a gang of car thieves has somehow gotten a hold of the new car registration records, and they're looking for idiots to pull their cars to the curb so they can swipe them with a tow truck and take them to Mexico.
I immediately dialed the number for Corey's work. At the time, he worked with a lot of people in the car financing industry. If this was a real recall, he'd for sure know something about it -- or at least have some contacts who could verify it for me.
Corey: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi honey. I just got the weirdest phone call. (Insert dramatic re-telling here.) Do you know anything about this?"
Corey: "No. I haven't heard a thing. That's really strange. Let me call Bob at the dealership and ask, and oh, by the way, April Fool's."
Me: "Yes, call Bob and ... (long pause). I hate you."
Phone slams down.
I sit and stare out the window for a minute then redial.
Corey, laughing: "Yes?"
Me: "Oh, and don't bother coming home tonight."
Phone slams down again.
I found out later, "Larry" was really one of Corey's employees, who had been drafted into the plot by my loving husband. He had made the call to me from his office -- so I wouldn't hear any familiar sounds or voices in the background. When he got off the phone with me, he walked into Corey's office -- where Corey and all his employees were waiting -- and said, "Expect a call from your wife any minute now." And, right on cue, Corey's phone rang with little old me on the other end.
So not only did Corey get me. But he got me in front of his whole office who was in on the scheme.
Inwardly, I was both laughing -- because, dang, that was good -- and gnashing my teeth -- because I'm not normally so gullible.
Please tell me I'm not alone in my shame and desire for revenge this April Fool's Day. Have you ever fallen for a April Fool's Day prank? Or have you pulled one that worked?
Me? I'm still waiting for my revenge, 14 years later. I'm open -- oh so very open -- to suggestions.
