A Few of my Favorite Things

Have I mentioned yet that I'm spending a lot of time online right now? Because I am.

In fact, I think my Bloglines account is starting to get weary of me dropping by. "For crying out loud, lady. Give it a rest! You just checked me five minutes ago! No one is updating their blog at 3:34 in the morning."

And for those of you noticing via your analytics engine that somebody is camping out on your blog for 20 hours a day, sorry. That would be me, leaving your blog open so I can comment at some point when I'm not nursing a baby. (I tried typing comments with one finger for a while, but it got too frustrating. And I'm too old to start text messaging. U R w/ me, rght?)

On the up side, I'm stumbling across many great new blogs. And I'm also enjoying a bunch of funny sites that I don't normally take the time to read.

So, because I'm a sharing kind of person, here are a few of the gems I found the over the past week.

My favorite line o' humor (via The Bleat):

Anyway. It took a few minutes to get into the parking lot, because I was behind a Caddy whose owner moved so slowly I suspected she had put the car in neutral and was waiting for the rotation of the earth to deliver her to her parking space.

My favorite lame criminal story, complete with biting commentary (via Buzz Minnesota):

"Obstruction. A 29-year-old man was arrested at Perkins. The man had left the restaurant the day before without paying his bill. When he returned the following day, staff called 911. The man denied not paying for his food, and deputies said he refused to follow their orders, so he was zapped with a Taser and arrested for obstruction.”

Two things to keep in mind as you wind your way through life: follow the officer’s instructions even if you believe in the depths of your heart that you paid for that short stack, and don’t run out on your restaurant bill. When I was a waiter we had a student clientèle, but few runners; they were poor and honest folk. You got lazy. Took your eye off the door. One night a fellow came in, slid around the back of the pie case, took a cream pie, and ran. Right away you know you’re not dealing with someone trying to feed a family. “Les Miserables” would be less effect if Jean Valjean had passed up the vegetables and stolen a bear claw. It was a cream pie, so perhaps he was the father of starving clowns, but I still didn't care.

I ran out the door, followed by two patrons who observed the theft and wanted a little vigilante justice to liven up a long cold night. We caught the fellow right away – he dropped the pie and blubbered apologies. It was for a fraternity scavenger hunt, dude, that’s all. Can’t you let me go?

We did. After he paid for the pie. He paid a lot for the pie, too. Enough to cover the price and a slice for the guys who helped run him down. A la mode, too.

Best advice for the GOP post-Super Tuesday (via Evangelical Outpost):

Pundit-based reality: McCain will destroy the GOP.

Voter-based reality: McCain is the leading choice for a majority of the GOP.

Listen, McCain is not my first choice. But he appears to be the inevitable choice of our party. If he's nominated I'll vote for him for the simple fact that his is far better than Obama or Clinton. If you disagree, then quietly vote for the third party candidate of your choice. But for heaven's sakes, stop whining, stop hyperventilating, and stop all the hyperbolic, Tony-award worthy dramatics. It's unbecoming.

My favorite public prank -- "Frozen Grand Central" (via the really interesting group Improv Everwhere):



By the way, I totally want to be friends with the people who started this concept. It's brilliant.

My favorite find of the week (the kind of thing that made me say, once again, I [heart] the Internet):

"Death of a Pig" by E.B. White

A wry and witty re-telling of the untimely demise of Mr. White's pig. It's a long essay, but I promise it's worth your time. (Hat tip to Karma Wilson, who is herself a wonderful writer of children's books.)

Oh, and in case you're already wondering -- Mr. White insisted this episode did not birth his eventual classic "Charlotte's Web."

And finally, my favorite "this will make you think" blog post of the week (and this faced some pretty stiff competition, believe you me):

What if ... none were enough?

Julie is always an eloquent writer, and this post is just another example of how she can turn a phrase and cut right to the heart.

Isn't the Internet grand?

See you out there. I'll be lurking.