Get her a bunk bed.
That's been my experience. Remember a couple of year ago, when we got the kids bunk beds, so we could fit our family of soon-to-be six into a three-bedroom townhouse? It was a move born of necessity, but it proved very popular. The kids loved the bunks. Connor and Natalie were proud, even a little cocky, about sleeping up so high, and Teyla, just 2 the time, adored sharing a room with her big sister. And they looked good, I will admit that.
But immediately - and I do mean IMMEDIATELY - I discovered the bunk beds' tragic flaw. They are impossible to make. Before bunks, I had the kids make their beds every morning. And I do mean EVERY MORNING. After all, I'm the person who will make my bed 10 minutes before I get into it at night if I find it's been left disheveled all day. (Do you remember last summer, when I came home from a two-week road trip to discover my bed had been unmade the entire time?! It still makes me shudder.)
But bunk beds? You can't just pull up a quilt, smooth out the wrinkles, fluff the pillows and call it good. Making a bunk bed involves tugging and pulling and jerking and grunting. At some point, the mattress will have to be lifted so sheets can be tucked tightly, and it's possible the whole bunk frame will have to be shoved aside so you can disentangle the stuffed animal that has lodged itself next to the wall. Putting on a fitted sheet is a Sisyphean task: even if you manage to get one elastic corner tightened beneath the mattress, it will come springing back at you like a rubber band the minute you try to stretch the sheet toward another end.
Making a bunk bed is a workout which requires the flexibility of a Cirque de Soleil acrobat, the patience of Mr. Rogers and the limbs of Otto Octavius.
I learned quickly I wasn't going to get anyone to do that every morning, least of all me.
And just like that, I went from changing the sheets weekly to changing them quarterly. (That is NOT an exaggeration.) I went from fussing over the Pottery Barn Kid quilts to shrugging when the kids slept on top of them, instead of beneath them. I let them keep Legos and books and a scrum of stuffed animals on their beds and sometimes even markers, and I sigh resignedly when I see that their top sheets are scrunched in a ball underneath their blankets at the foot of their bed.
In fact, in the interest of keeping it real, here are pictures I took of my kids beds just a few minutes ago.
Before, that kind of mess would have sent my faux-OCD into hyper mode. "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"
But now? Eh. It's easier just to walk away.
And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It sounds trite, but I'm serious when I say that letting the bunk beds go has helped me let go - of control, of impossible standards, of self-imposed ideals. It's reminded me that my life is not summed by a bed well-made but by a family well-loved.
Besides, I still have my bed. And it gets made every day.
Some things will never change.
The only people I know who keep their bunk beds looking nice do the following- the kids have cute fitted SHEETS and no top sheet. Each morning they fold up their blanket at the end of the bed and straighten the pillows or stuffed animals. Seems weird not to have a top sheet but the kids don't care and the rooms always look neat. Even if the blankets are folded at a 5 year old's skill level, they still look nicer than you would think.
ReplyDeleteThat is an interesting idea. My kids don't even like the top sheets, since they just get tangled with the quilt anyway. But I doubt they are going to adjust to folding their quilts at this stage in the game. I'm just going to keep with shutting their doors and walking away. :-)
DeleteI know the feeling I hate making the bunk beds at home! and especially the top one!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my. Yes, I change sheets about once every 2 months now, because I get so sweaty and out of breath doing the top bunk.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I love how the sun is shining IN YOUR ROOM ONLY. Because *YOU* MADE YOUR BED. Perfectly ironic, and makes my own faux-OCD self smile in happy self-satisfaction for you. You are so funny and adorable. xo
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, the kids rooms are on the lower level, so they don't get much sunlight in their windows.
DeleteBut if they ever MADE their beds, I bet the angels would shine upon them in just that way.
I totally relate to this post. :)
ReplyDeleteGIRL. This is the TRUTH in our house, too! The girls have bunk beds and YESSSSSSSSS. Impossible to make correctly every day. I just tug the sheets up and half-heartedly pull the comforter up and that is IT. And it's fine. It's totally easier than stressing about it.
ReplyDeleteBut OUR bed is a thing of glory every day. It's the one thing I do every day towards a tidy house.
Love this post. Could have written every word!
I had a bunk bed when I was a kid and slept on the top one. I don't remember whether we had to keep it made or not. Now I'm curious about how my parents felt about it!
ReplyDeleteMy son can actually make his bed (top bunk) with a little guidance from me. And thank goodness he can, because otherwise the sheets would be washed but never returned to the bed! Thanks for sharing your reality--I can relate. :)
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, our parallel lives. I could've written this word for word if I were as clever as you. Down to the markers. on. the. bed. Who have I become?! The pictures are even almost the same. And yes, I've also given in and let them sleep on top of the beloved (to me only, apparently) PB quilts. And quarterly might be twice as often as I change ours. Ahem.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I'd started writing a blog post about OUR bunk beds, but you've beat me to it. I"ll just publish it here, since this is all I had:
"BUNK BEDS (title)
I hate them."
Deep, huh? Thanks for fleshing out what I was thinking all along. And I can assure you there are no bunk beds in heaven.
"There are no bunk beds in heaven." Bwhahahaha Angie.
DeleteBut doctrinally, I think you're solid here. After all, no more tears, etc.
You know, every time I've seen a bunk bed at someone's house, it's never been made. How hilarious is that?!
ReplyDeletePS - I still don't make my bed every day. ; )
S'ok, Jen. I will still be your friend. (I may even make it for you the next time I come to visit. Because, you know. My faux OCD extends to my loved ones.)
DeleteOk, but riddle me this: if someone is sleeping on both bunks, other than the bed making (which I fist bump in solidarity with Jen; I still don't make my bed or make my big boy make his bed) are they that bad? I ask mostly because we already own them but aren't using them bunked yet. Mostly, I want you to pat my head and lie to me (if necessary).
ReplyDeleteOh, no, bunk beds ROCK the utility department. The kids love them, they work well in small spaces, etc. It's just the neatness factor that makes me break out in hives. I would get them again in a heartbeat.
DeleteThis is so funny, because when you bought them, and whenever I see them in catalogs looking so cute, my first thought is "what a pain to change the sheets." And I am NOT a neatnik, although I do have to make my bed every day. My boy makes his bed faithfully, my girl notsomuch. (go figure!)
ReplyDeleteBut I've still always been bad about changing their sheets. I think it's because I changed them so much when they were tiny and having accidents that I never got into a routine with it, plus they were so little in their big beds that it never seem necessary. I'm OCD about changing our bed.
Fun post!
This is my future. Rats.
ReplyDeleteI love and hate our bunkbeds for the same reason. And to make matters worse, the oldest is in a daybed, which is a pain to make too because of the frame that comes up around the one side. There are no made children's beds in my house.
ReplyDeleteMy four-year-old's bed is made every day.
Delete(Because I make it.)
Oh yes, the bunk bed we have has suffered the same fate. I'd be all about the no top sheet thing (the brother on the top bunk hates a flat sheet) except for the fact that the brother on the bottom bunk uses ONLY the flat sheet and not his blanket. And since the bed on the bottom is a full bed it's like a BIG OL unmade bed every day. ::shudder::
ReplyDeleteI am a) totally laughing that you were horrified to discover a vacation with an unmade bed back home (so me) b) thrilled that you also make your bed every day (it makes me depressed if the bed is unmade) and c) i must know this criteria for a faux-OCD because i think I suffer the same.
Hi Arianne. Welcome to the faux-OCD support group. Please label your name tag correctly and be sure to put your tag on right side up. If you put it on upside down to irk us, you will be immediately disqualified.
DeleteThe mere thought of the bottom bed being only a sheet every day made me grimace, a little. I mean, I know - first world problems. But still.
Har! Tommy sleeps in the top bunk and I don't think I've looked at the state of it in ages. I probably should, but I have a feeling your photos and my imagination are the truth. He sleeps well, so whatever is going on up there works.
ReplyDeleteLOL awesome article, & yes I agree your better off just leaving them be :)
ReplyDeleteWe do not have bunk beds, but want them one day. Its a good thing I have long ago learned to let go of things like made beds.
ReplyDeleteBeen there and done (or not done) that! :)
ReplyDeleteThe post is telling how the bunk beds changed the author forever
ReplyDeleteBunker Beds
This is the funniest thing I've ever read!!! We too have bunk beds, special made, so there are two twins and a full bed on the bottom. Yes, the top is very high and nearly impossible to make. I save that remaking of the bed for a punishment. I won't reveal how many times the beds get washed! My solution? Make the bed as normal and sleep on top of the pottery barn quilt. Fold blankets at the end of the bed and fluff pillows with those never to be used shams that are now oh so utilitarian. Poof! Neat, always made beds!
ReplyDelete