What I Did During My Blogging Break (Updated Below)

I grew a human being.

Cathy by Cathy Guisewite

©2007 Cathy Guisewite

I'm now almost 21 weeks pregnant -- which means I've passed the halfway point.

And today you get an update, because I HAVE MY ULTRASOUND THIS AFTERNOON.

Sorry; I didn't mean to shout. It's just that I'M A TAD EXCITED! Because I'm one of those people who need to know the gender of the baby. NEED. I can't bond with the baby without knowing if it's a boy or girl -- Cousin "It" just doesn't have the same warm-and-fuzzy appeal. And since my mind refuses to accept the Green Team option, it will subconsciously assign a sex to the unborn infant, whether it's correct or not.

I experienced this phenomenon during my second pregnancy. Outwardly, I told people I didn't care if we were having a boy or a girl -- because we already had one girl I totally enjoyed, and if it was a boy, we'd have one of each. So no pressure! Either way, it's good. And I truly believed that.

But in hindsight, I can see how my subconscious took over by week 14 and sneakily convinced my mind and heart that I was pregnant with a girl. "This pregnancy is identical to the one you had earlier." "You'd be such a great Mom to two girls." "Natalie is going to love having a baby sister."

So when my OB cheerily announced at our week 18 ultrasound, "It's a boy! Just look at that, Mom and Dad!" my heart unexpectedly sank all the way to my toes. It took me about a week to stop waking up in the middle of the night and thinking to myself that the boy "diagnosis" was just a horrible, crazy nightmare. I cried for about three days. I was disappointed in myself, but I cried anyway. Because as I've come to see it, I was mourning the girl that wasn't, and that on many levels, I didn't even know I wanted.

So that brings us to today. Outwardly, I can say again -- it matters not to me if we'll have a baby boy or a baby girl come January. Because we have one of each right now, and I love both. Both sexes have their unique joys and trials. Either way, it's good.

But internally (come closer; I need to whisper here), I think I'm hoping it's a girl. Much of this has to do with the fact that my daughter -- who is currently surrounded by boys in most aspects of her life -- really, really wants a baby sister. It also has to do with the fact that my husband announced on the day I took a positive test back in May that we were pregnant with a girl. (And this isn't a guess, mind you. Not as he puts it anyway. He has more assurance that the prophet Elijah over this. And truthfully, he's been right nine out of the last nine times he's made a prediction.)

So. Today, I'll finally get answers. I can stop wondering. I can start planning. I can start bonding and getting excited about the little bumps and kicks I feel every time I sit still for a few moments. (Which is often, let me tell you.) Today. Today. Today.

Yahoo! I can't wait to see this little one God is growing inside of me. Check back later this weekend for an update.

Update: IT'S A GIRL! How crazy is that?!? My husband's track record stands -- and we have one excited six-year-old daughter. More to come later, I'm sure.