I just wanted to run away.

Not literally. But I wanted an escape. A break. I was acting on instinct, almost like a hunted animal.

Corey’s gone, all four kids need me, it’s raining again and I have no one coming to rescue me. I am all alone.

My natural reaction to the panic of the moment was to seek, as if my life depended on it, a diversion. A distraction. I needed to quell the anxiety rising in my throat.

So I ran – to the computer.

I jumped into the Twitter stream. Then I flipped through Facebook. I read a few blogs. The news of the day. The weather forecast (for more than one city, naturally). Miss Manners. Ask Amy. The comics.

Fifteen minutes later, I felt calmer. More in control. I was better able to handle the chaos outside my bedroom door (and at my feet, let’s be honest).

The Internet drug had worked. I was sedated.

But I wasn’t more Christ-like. I wasn’t infused with a fresh measure of God’s strength. I wasn’t anymore prepared to love well than when I ran to the laptop seeking.

I’m immensely thankful for the connections technology enables. My friendships, in real-life and online, are support, laughter, encouragement.

But they are not God.

Nor should they be.


  1. Did you write this for me today? I think you did. :-) Thank you you, dear friend.

  2. Oh yes, I know that.

    We are reading thru the bible at the new church we're attending, and have a special bible for it. There are notes and messages in it. Of course, I had the roughest day Monday but turned to everything first, then at the very end of the day read that day's entry. It gave me exactly the confirmation, answer to something that had been bothering me all day... Why did I wait until the end of the day to see it? GAH.


  3. Thanks for being so honest. This is a problem for me too - looking to FB and Twitter first in the morning instead of to God. It's time to kick that habit in the butt! :)

  4. So true. Why is it so hard to turn to God - and so easy to turn to the internet?

  5. I admit that if the kds go to nap early like today I mostly come online first. Its silly not toseek our Lord first but in a way maybe I do when I thank Him and say our morning prayer :)

  6. Exactly. Sometimes, many times, I turn to my friends behind this sleek screen before turning to God.

    And then I say, "Well, God brought this person into my life and she's so wise and smart and spiritual, it's like my devotion..." Which it can be, but when I feel funny justifying my time online, I know better.

  7. I think most of us who are reading are relating, exactly.

  8. Oh my goodness. Yes. It's a drug, isn't it? Sigh.