I’ve always been a sun girl. Summer is my favorite season, hands down. I loved living in San Diego. (Until October, when I started to miss crisp days and changing leaves and a white Christmas). And yes, I’ll even confess that being tan is like wearing kisses and raspberries to me.
But I never thought I had seasonal affective disorder.
Until this June.
The sun has been woefully absent the last few weeks, a “clammy disaster,” to quote one of my favorite local bloggers. The Twin Cities have been stuck in a gray-storm-drizzle cycle. Even when the meteorologists forecast sun, it’s nothing but leaden skies as far as the eye can see. Debris clouds, fie on you.
I’ve taken to checking the visual radar like a nervous twitch, hoping to see a break in the cloud cover. I’m slightly obsessed with the long-term outlook. “Please, oh please, show two suns in a row.”
But it’s just not happening We have clear skies at sunset and sometimes for a few hours at dawn (which is about 4:45 these days). We even had a sunny morning last Friday, when the birds sang and the chipmunks danced and I bought donuts for my children in our tiny downtown and skipped my way through the farmers market.
But the clouds returned Friday afternoon and, like a rude guest, haven’t even mentioned their departure date.
I’m getting cranky. (Unusual for this sanguine.) I have no energy. I haven’t cooked dinner, something I normally love, in about 10 days. I can’t focus. I can’t find my joy.
Corey is worried about me. Yesterday night, after another mumbling rant about “gray, no sun, never sun,” he took us all out to dinner and practically forced me to order a margarita. He’s threatening to put St. John’s Wort and fish oil in my morning coffee.
And I’m starting to believe I really do have S.A.D. The idea of getting out of bed to face another day of gray makes me feel like I’m suffocating.
Anyone have some input? Or should I just buy a package at the tanning salon down the road?
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At my dr's appointment last week, she said she was treating as much depression right now as she usually did in the dead of winter. So you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteMy MIL has a special light that mimics the sun. She sits in front of it a few minutes a day all winter (she's in Vancouver) and she is good to go. If she forgets, she totally notices so something like that might be a bit more fun than fish oil in your coffee.
Get well soonest (from one weather puppet to another.)
I think I would have the same issues if I lived up there. Of course down here we have too much sun and not enough clouds and rain. It has not affected my mood too much, but it is making it challenging finding safe ways to get the energy out of the kids.
ReplyDeleteIt's been much the same here. But it's sunny today! Head to La Crosse!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true. Growing up in Seattle, I didn't really know there was any other way than the relentless clouds but now that I know better, I go crazy when we have too much gray in a row. My mood is so much more stable when I get quality sun time. But take heart - it's June gloom in San Diego right now (which I'm sure you remember)!
ReplyDeleteI bet you do have it- maybe it's hereditary... I am sorry that after such a long, cold winter, it's not a lousy summer. You know what I am thinking, but I am not going to say it... Love you and miss you!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're down and out, Kel. :( I think Rick and I both suffer from SAD, which is why we headed down south. The mild climate and consistent sun has done wonders to ward off depression. If moving to Asheville isn't an option (oh, how I wish it was!), I've heard great things about the sun lamps. Also, have you gotten your vitamin D level checked? With little to no sun, it's probably low, so a supplement would do you good. Most docs are recommending vitamin D supplements anyway, since so many people have low levels. And a vitamin D deficit can contribute to the blues. LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am convinced I too have SAD. I invested in a lamp specifically for it at Costco this winter and it does help. Fortunately, we have had sun and mine is really more in the winter.
ReplyDeleteI'm about 99% sure that I have it too, although I've never done anything about it. You describe it well--feeling like you're suffocating. The only thing I do is surf travel websites and dream of where I'd go to lie in the sun.
ReplyDeletethis is probably not the best time to bring this up, but when i imagine fall (aka WINTER! b/c what's the diff here?) coming, i almost start crying.
ReplyDeleteI totally, totally relate to your SAD issues. I have a friend who uses a tanning bed throughout winter to battle depression and it really helps her!
ReplyDeleteWe have long days of too much sun, too many days over 100 degrees, and cracked, dry, crunchy earth. We've been hibernating in the house after 11 AM or so because it is nearly dangerous to be outside for long. It's weird. So yeah, I'm totally feeling the weather-driven angst. (also a fellow Summer Lover.)
I love your humor in this post. And I can totally relate (well sort of on a small scale) because, as a Colorado girl, I get cranky when the sun fails to shine 2 days in a row. We were made for the sun (and Son)...
ReplyDeleteEat lots of popcicles, wear flip flops and tank tops and play "Dance Into the Light" until you can't stand it any longer. Then maybe you'll notice the sun shining!
PS. I'm friends with your sis Emily.
Loved the post...and can relate....But I do love winter too....
ReplyDeleteI am the same way. No fun! But, I've found that when the gray is making me feel crazy, if it's not actually raining it's best for me to get outside. Even without any sun, just the fresh air seems to pep me up a bit. And going out for fresh air at night is really refreshing...I think my body forgets about the cloudy day under a dark sky. Also, I've learned when we're in a stretch of gray to chase the sun....if it comes out for just a little bit, we drop whatever we're doing and all get outside to soak it up while we can.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has this...we live on the wet coast - excuuuuse me, West Coast (Vancouver, BC). Best thing I ever did was buy him one of those little blue lights at Costco. 20-30 minutes in the morning. Not a cure-all, but it sure helps...and I can tell when he doesn't use it! I'll also mention the massive dose of liquid Vitamin D (also a Costco find!) I sneak into his juice. Daily in the gray days.
ReplyDeleteSo funny, I am actually the opposite. I like the drab and gray. My cousin Emily calls them Debussy days. I love the outdoors but keep me in the shade. Yucky sweat! Pass the slippers and sweaters! Does this make me a true Minnesotan? :)
ReplyDeleteWhen we lived in Southern Maryland we would get cabin fever in the off season. March through October is a wet blanket even at night so we rarely spent time outside. I can deal with a warm day but the humidity kills me! West Virginia, being a higher elevation, has a much better balance of seasonal weather.
Hope you get your sun! Meanwhile, I'm going to go slather on some Jergens Natural Glow...
And how ironic that my last blog post was written with anticipation of chilly Fall. So maybe I'll get back into blogging come September!
ReplyDelete